A Big Juicy Heart

Pip — no but see that's what I don't get, you spend a whole evening figuring out who's got a map and the answer is just, oh, the clowns have it.

Bram well it wasn't just like that, we had leads, we sat down after the meeting of the minds and Argyle's going right, we need a route map, voidward, because Kadou can't build the — the thing —

Maeve the locator.

Bram the locator, right, for magic items, and without a map of what's ahead the whole thing just stalls, so the goal becomes find a map.

Pip okay but you knew the Harlequins had one.

Bram we suspected.

Maeve Prime Meridian and the Protectorate both said they didn't have one.

Pip said.

Maeve said.

Bram see Pip's already doing the thing, the both-said voice —

Pip I'm just saying everyone else conveniently doesn't have the map and the spooky clowns do, that's not a fishing expedition, that's a railroad —

Bram it is a little bit a fishing expedition though, I'll give you that, we did kind of go who has a map, who has a map, like —

Maeve we crushed the figurine.

Bram right! we crush the figurine and Chuck shows up.

Pip Chuck's different now though.

Bram Chuck is so different, he comes in and he's like, licking his fingers, like he just had a — what was it, a messy meal, glove off, the pocket square's wrong —

Pip which pocket, the —

Bram I don't — does it matter —

Maeve it was on the wrong side.

Pip see that's the read though, that's the whole thing, something changed Chuck since the thing that happened and nobody —

Bram Argyle clocked it! Argyle's like, I feel like you're lying to me.

Maeve Anzu rolled the sense motive. Twenty.

Pip and it comes back, what, less servile?

Maeve a bit less servile.

Pip a bit less servile, that's — that does nothing, what do you do with a bit less servile.

Bram well Argyle just keeps going you're lying, you're lying, and he's got nothing, he's just deciding Chuck's lying —

Pip but he's right though.

Bram he's — we don't know that yet.

Pip he's right, you can feel he's right, Chuck's doing the that's-not-my-purview thing on every single question —

Maeve that's not proof.

Pip it's a vibe.

Maeve it's not proof.

Bram anyway Chuck can't give us the map himself but he points us at the library, Curator Ocelith, and — oh, and he drops that the head of Verdant Holdings got killed the night before and they're electing a new guy.

Pip which mattered later.

Bram which mattered later, yeah, hold that.

Pip wait before that, the twins, didn't Anzu — the twins were being weird.

Bram oh the bonnet thing.

Maeve Anouk and Anaïs.

Bram right, so before we head out Argyle's arranging to grab the new recruits at night so nobody intercepts them, and Anzu's poking the twins about what they've been up to, and Johnny — Johnny does the sunglasses bit.

Pip takes the glasses off to —

Bram takes the sunglasses off, very dramatic, like, lie to me, like he's — and Anzu rolls a thirty-four on it —

Maeve deception. Thirty-four.

Bram thirty-four! and all it gets is, yeah they did the work, the bonnet, the boots —

Pip the rocket boots.

Bram the blast boots, rocket boots, whatever — but they're hiding something else.

Pip a thirty-four to find out someone's not being forthcoming. That's — you burn a thirty-four for that?

Bram it's a high vehicle.

Pip what?

Bram that was their cover, the bonnet, they're like it's a pretty high vehicle, replacing the bonnet, like that's why it took so long —

Maeve it is a high vehicle.

Pip okay but what are they actually building, that's the —

Bram we don't know, that's the mystery, that's the point —

Pip it's never the point, the mystery's never the point, you just leave them building a secret thing and go eat dessert.

Bram the brigadeiros!

Maeve brigadeiros.

Bram we bring brigadeiros to Verdant Holdings, there was a whole thing about whether to bring Citadel food or Scale food —

Pip which nobody resolved —

Bram nobody resolved, we just landed on brigadeiros, and we go meet Dr. Thrain.

Pip the big guy.

Bram huge, half-giant-looking guy, botany doctor, and he does the handshake and his hand just — fully covers Argyle's hand, like —

Maeve it covers your whole hand.

Bram the whole hand, yeah.

Pip and they say no.

Bram they turn us down, but — and this is the good part — it's because Verdant Holdings has a personal feud with Hildebrandt.

Pip see and this is where I start going hang on, because Argyle's building the whole alliance around Hildebrandt —

Bram and now there's a faction that hates him, yeah.

Pip and that's not the only one, that's like the first of —

Bram hold on, let me — Thrain says we're a bit late, too, which, the dead leader —

Maeve Cross.

Bram Cross, right, the —

Maeve dwarven oread.

Bram the one we didn't save.

Maeve you saved Jethro instead.

Pip oh that's grim, so the guy you didn't save is the dead election guy.

Bram and Anzu's sense motive — what was it —

Maeve thirty-three.

Bram thirty-three, catches that some of his own people are dismissive of him, like a few of them don't think Thrain should be speaking for the org —

Pip and there's the quiet gnome.

Bram the quiet gnome who maybe actually runs it, yeah.

Pip which, again, you noted and did nothing with.

Bram we were busy! also Benny got asked what he's a doctor of —

Maeve he's not.

Bram he just goes I'm not, and somebody — was it Anzu — he's a child.

Maeve he's a child.

Pip see this is my thing about Johnny being the face —

Bram oh here we go.

Pip no, you guys called him the most punchable face at the table, that was a real thing somebody said —

Maeve he'll get the group killed.

Pip he'll get the group killed! that's a direct quote and you made him the face!

Bram he's charismatic.

Pip he's punchable.

Bram those can both — anyway, anyway, we go back and re-summon Chuck to take us to the library, and this is where it becomes a whole thing about wording.

Pip the genie thing.

Bram Chuck's basically a genie now, he's lawyering us, so first summon, we ask for a map, and he hands us this useless crude exterior map, like a doodle of the outside, and he goes — what was the line —

Maeve you only put the no-shenanigans clause on the if-I-can't-give-you-a-map-immediately bit.

Bram right! you only put the no-shenanigans rider on the one clause, that's a rookie mistake, he actually says rookie mistake —

Pip so you summon him again.

Bram we summon him again, and again, like three times, dialing in the phrasing, eventually it's the quickest of the safest routes, and then he leads us on foot —

Pip three summons to learn to talk to a devil. Why not just nail it the first time?

Bram because you don't know the loophole till he's exploited it!

Pip you knew he was being a snake the second he showed up licking his fingers —

Maeve Johnny wouldn't take the floating disc.

Bram oh, the disc, yeah, Chuck offers a floating disc and Johnny's like absolutely not, he'll drop us in a pit, he'll find a way to drop us —

Pip which is probably correct.

Maeve probably.

Bram so we walk, and we get to the Harlequin base and it's — okay, it's not a circus.

Pip everyone thinks circus.

Bram I thought circus. It's a town. A whole little colorful town, eerie, theatrical, near the front of the Strider, most developed area we've seen, like fifty masked Harlequins, ort workers, big clock tower —

Pip and they don't talk.

Bram they never talk! they communicate over distance with this — skein, mana current thing —

Maeve a current.

Bram a mana current, and Anzu's doing checks, and the buildings —

Pip this is the occultism thing, right, where she —

Bram so there's options, she can go theater lore, religion, occultism, and she picks occultism and crits —

Maeve thirty-seven.

Bram thirty-seven, and catches this — void-heart twinge over the whole town, the half-metallic taste —

Pip half-metallic taste, like the void creatures.

Bram like the void things we fought, yeah.

Pip okay but — was occultism the right call though, because the theater lore told you the whole town's fake, it's a set, it's a story —

Maeve theater lore was twenty-one.

Pip and that's the actually useful one, no? it's all a facade, none of it's real, that changes how you walk through the place —

Bram but the void connection is the read of the whole session —

Pip the void connection is the cool one, the it's-all-fake one is the useful one, those aren't the same —

Bram the icon though! there's a library, cathedral-looking, and on it there's this icon, four hands wrapped around an eye —

Maeve religion check IDed it. Twenty-three.

Bram but it rings no bells, it's too esoteric, and Chuck just goes, deadpan, it's an eyeball in some hands.

Pip an eyeball in some hands. Thanks Chuck.

Bram so we go in and the library's — oh man, the librarians.

Maeve zabub.

Bram the zabub, half-beetle half-baby —

Pip half-baby? you keep saying half-baby —

Maeve half-beetle, half-baby.

Pip that's so much worse than circus clowns, why is nobody —

Bram and there's spectral hands floating around, and then Ocelith.

Pip describe Ocelith.

Bram giant skeletal — dragon-armadillo thing, and his head rotates one-eighty —

Maeve a hundred and eighty.

Bram all the way around, yeah, and he's got the map, the book, but you need a library card —

Pip which is a contract.

Bram which is a contract signing away any knowledge you get from using it, and we negotiate instead, and Johnny — okay, Johnny's diplomacy thing.

Maeve he rolled deception first.

Bram he rolled deception by mistake, that one didn't count, and then it turns out his Pathbuilder numbers were all wrong because he'd been tinkering over the weekend —

Pip classic.

Bram so he fixes it and rolls the real one, twenty-nine diplomacy —

Maeve twenty-nine.

Pip and Ocelith likes that they know the rules.

Bram he goes, I love it when people know the rules before they come, yeah.

Pip and Argyle wants to just kill him.

Bram Argyle the whole time is like we should've just ganked him at the door —

Pip he says that about everyone.

Maeve he says it about everyone.

Bram but Ocelith — sense motive catches his kind tells the future —

Maeve thirty. He wasn't certain. He had reason to expect what you'd do.

Pip which is creepy, right, like he saw the negotiation coming —

Bram and then he offers the lesser deal — instead of the card, go get back this thing that got stolen from him three months ago —

Pip the ink ribbon.

Bram the ink ribbon! and someone asks what it is and he goes, it goes in a typewriter, it lets you type —

Pip it lets you type. That's the treasured item. A typewriter ribbon.

Maeve taken by an undercrofter. Probably on Subdeck twelve.

Bram Subdeck twelve, that's the quest now, descend to twelve, get the ribbon, get the book.

Pip and the red-green thing.

Bram oh the red or green! he makes us pick red or green and we pick red, and Anzu had called it, she said it's a smokescreen, the choice doesn't matter —

Pip but if he tells the future, then picking red is exactly what he —

Bram see, see, that's the —

Pip like did we choose red or did he know we'd choose red, which is it —

Maeve it doesn't matter.

Pip it kind of matters.

Maeve that was the point. It's a smokescreen.

Pip ...anyway.

Bram and this is where the big lore drops, the icon — Ocelith explains it, the four hands are the four Princes —

Maeve the Shackled, the Harlequin, the Hooded, the Loam.

Bram the Shackled, the Harlequin, the Hooded, and the Loam, and the eye is the thing that woke them up —

Pip woke them from being subservient.

Bram from subservience, yeah, and he's very snippy about it, he goes you worshippers of the six are so rigid, it's four —

Maeve four and one. Five total.

Bram four and one, five total, right, very — he's pleased with himself about it.

Pip so that's separate from the Voidsong, that's a whole other —

Bram it seems separate, yeah, this is Princes, the awakening eye, that's new —

Pip and the Harlequins serve one of them.

Bram serve a Prince, presumably the Harlequin one, yeah, which reframes Chuck entirely, which is why I think Argyle's lying-read was —

Pip thank you.

Bram I didn't say you were right.

Pip you nearly did.

Bram and the book — it's the only thing on his holds shelf, it's got every known location from prime Færin out to the wall at voidward's edge, and he puts it on hold for us.

Maeve on hold.

Bram then we detour to Ternion Heavy for Jethro's gift.

Pip the guy you did save.

Bram the guy we saved, and he goes if it isn't my saviors —

Pip aw.

Bram and he's mid-build on this weird plane, twin-winged, but there's a second set of little wings at the back —

Maeve smaller rear wings.

Bram smaller rear wings, no seats inside, bare bones, rapid build, and over paper-cup coffee he tells us he's allied with Grayson.

Pip Grayson of Amber Call.

Bram Amber Call, the medical insurance — they bandage you and bill you — and Grayson's giving him protection, guns, the skeleton workers —

Maeve Pale Lantern.

Bram Pale Lantern skeleton-workers, and tithe support, in exchange for scouting.

Pip so that's the second alliance.

Bram that's the rival alliance, Grayson's building his own thing, and Jethro warns us hard about Hildebrandt — Ternion planes got shot out of the sky —

Maeve by Belvedere.

Bram by Belvedere, and engineers poached, and that's like the second Hildebrandt warning in one day —

Pip but Argyle privately writes Jethro off, right.

Bram Argyle goes they're cooked, Grayson's going to kill that group the second he's done with them —

Pip and doesn't warn them.

Bram doesn't warn them, no.

Pip that's cold. That's the guy you saved.

Bram it's pragmatic.

Pip it's cold and pragmatic, those aren't —

Bram he might be right that they're cooked!

Pip you can be right and still tell the guy.

Maeve he didn't tell the guy.

Bram he didn't tell the guy. Then Aetherion, the power company —

Maeve Ætherion Limited.

Bram Braxton Hall, the sylph, the wispy hair guy, and Anzu's only note on him is chill af —

Pip chill af.

Maeve she doesn't remember writing it.

Bram she doesn't remember writing it but it's canon now, chill af, and his office is in a fane with disabled minefields, like you drive in through a minefield —

Maeve an active minefield.

Bram was it active or disabled —

Maeve he says you drove through an active one.

Bram through an active minefield, great, and Braxton says no, he's already promised to someone —

Pip Tas's group.

Bram Tas's group, and — this is the thesis of the day basically — he tells us we're too friendly, too undiscerning, we've shown our juicy heart to everyone —

Pip the big juicy heart line.

Bram you've got a big juicy heart full of energy on your property and now everyone knows where it is.

Maeve sense motive caught the cold under it. Thirty-seven.

Bram thirty-seven, yeah, friendly words, cold underneath, and he confirms Tas is playing both alliances —

Pip double-dipping.

Bram double-dipping, and Tas calls us — what — spunky, good-natured, but kids.

Maeve good-natured, spunky, but kids.

Pip which, honestly? fair.

Bram it's a little fair.

Pip like that's the whole problem, you go around being everyone's friend handing out brigadeiros and the actual operators are like, cute, the children are here —

Bram but is that not soft power though, is being everyone's friend not —

Pip it's not soft power if they all know where your heart is —

Maeve he told them to their faces it's naive.

Bram he did, and then we go act on it that night, the —

Pip the heart stuff.

Bram the grim part.

Pip yeah let's — because this is where the recruiting thing actually means what it means.

Bram right, so recruiting a small faction means — you take their heart. For energy. And we'd just signed up Alkahest and Solari, so under cover of night we drive the empty truck, pass a stealth check —

Pip and the hearts know.

Bram the hearts know! that's the gut-punch, at Alkahest, Kadou's totally cooperative, but the heart — it's this desk cabinet, a ream of paper —

Maeve Chromatic Drift.

Bram the Chromatic Drift heart, and it's drawing on itself, drawing please don't kill me —

Pip oh that's —

Bram and there's a note, it overheard Kadou packing, so it knew, and the note's like why would I make killing me easy, you're about to end my life —

Pip that's bleak.

Bram and it goes did you think I wouldn't notice, it's happening in my fane —

Maeve fame.

Bram did it say fame or fane —

Maeve fame. It said fame.

Pip it said fame? that's almost funnier —

Bram and Benny rips the chad-paper cord — perception crit, thirty-four — thirty energy, building collapses, everyone makes the reflex save.

Pip and Johnny's distraction is —

Bram Johnny's just doing a bit, he's just like, doing this —

Pip doing what?

Bram I can't — it was a bit, you had to be there, and Benny's worried the meat'll be sour if they're upset.

Pip sour meat.

Bram sour meat, yeah, if the heart's upset the meat's sour.

Pip that's — see that's the moment for me, that's where it stops being bookkeeping, like Benny just said the quiet part —

Maeve it's a joke.

Pip it's a joke that's also true, that's the worst kind —

Bram and then Solari, which is the big argument.

Pip Salvado.

Bram Salvado, the drunk guy, half-packed, treating the whole apocalypse like a vacation —

Pip and Argyle wants to leave him.

Bram Argyle wants to leave him, he's useless, and Anzu's like you can't just abandon a man who got thrown into this without —

Maeve without knowing.

Bram and it's a long, long argument, and the compromise we land on is — and this is the part that's actually worse —

Pip take his heart, take his crew, take his stuff —

Bram take the heart, take the two sleeping crewmates, take his stuff, and leave him.

Pip which is crueler than either!

Bram it's crueler than either thing! and the Credence Flow heart —

Maeve the shipping containers.

Bram the rattly stacked-containers sculpture, it's begging, but not for itself, it's like can you help him, help Salvado, he'd been yanking on it, physically pulling on the heart —

Pip oh.

Bram he'd cried and then started drinking, and the heart's worried about him —

Pip the heart's worried about the guy who was abusing it.

Bram yeah.

Maeve and Anzu says the line.

Bram Anzu says to Argyle — for the half of you that is not a demon, I do not like your discern for human life.

Pip discern, like —

Maeve disregard.

Bram disregard, yeah, your disregard for human life, for the non-demon half of him —

Pip that's the whole campaign in one sentence, kind of.

Bram and the heart's last words when Benny pulls the load-bearing container —

Maeve oh, fuck.

Bram oh, fuck. Twenty energy, building down, all save.

Pip and then they keep Salvado.

Bram then we keep Salvado! the heart humanized him, so we end up taking him after all, and later Argyle cures the drunkenness —

Maeve Cleanse Affliction.

Bram Cleanse Affliction, sobers him up, and Salvado's mad about it, he didn't want to be sober —

Pip so let me get this straight, you take his hometown's heart, you dump his booze, you sober him against his will, and that's — mercy?

Bram we kept him alive.

Pip you decided he gets to be a person and the heart doesn't.

Bram that's — okay that's a little —

Pip that's exactly what happened.

Maeve that is what happened.

Bram ...anyway, we get home, two heart-cores, twenty-five more energy, we're at one-eighty-three —

Pip which is too juicy.

Bram which is way too juicy, Braxton just told us, so we spend down, we want to be in the — fifty to seventy range, less of a target —

Pip spend down by murdering people for hearts and then spend the hearts so you're less murderable.

Bram yeah.

Pip there's a loop there I don't love.

Bram and we buy walls, reinforced bulkheads, a moat —

Maeve DC twenty-three. Prone on a fail.

Bram prone on a failed save, and new rooms, a warehouse and a War room, and the whole base is designed like a maze, a honeycomb —

Pip the Rust thing.

Bram somebody said if you've ever played Rust we're doing a honeycomb, yeah, so intruders have to wind through layers to get to the heart —

Pip and the twins' moat —

Bram the moat request gets fulfilled, the ground literally drops out from under them, and then they pivot to building a minesweeper —

Pip from the bonnet thing to the moat to a minesweeper, what is the through-line on these two —

Bram there isn't one, they just keep getting new jobs —

Maeve there were turrets for a second.

Bram oh! Josh narrated turrets and then took them back —

Maeve none of the turrets show up.

Bram none of the turrets show up, retconned, and Benny's like — well that's the min-max worry, right, if turrets are that good you just buy turrets forever —

Pip you turn the base into an exploit.

Bram versus Argyle who just wants the island fortress vibe, very fortifiable from pirates —

Pip pirates.

Bram he kept saying pirates.

Maeve and you've got one more hex than Hildebrandt now.

Bram one more hex than Hildebrandt, which, given two factions hate the guy —

Pip which you're still allied to.

Bram which we're still — yeah, that's gonna be a problem, that's like a whole — that's next week probably —

Pip no but go back to the sour meat thing for a second because I —